


the kindest comfort and the cruellest reminder

by star_bunny



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 19:40:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9139294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/star_bunny/pseuds/star_bunny
Summary: Leonard has always hated New Years.





	

Leonard was never one for New Years, was always unable to share the optimism of the changing stardate, instead mired down by the melancholia of passing time. For Leonard, the dawn of a new year meant another year apart from his daughter, another link in the chain of the absent father-cum-divorcee millstone that bore him down daily.

So when his first year at the academy drew to a close, he mustered excuses to any party invitations, feigned unavailability at every proffered celebration, until it came to the one invitation he couldn’t refuse - Jim’s.

‘ _Come on_ , Bones’, Jim whined, hooking his hands through Bones’ folded arms and pulling with childish insistence. ‘You _always_ come with me whenever we go out. So why is New Years any different? Hell, Bones, this is _the_ time to go out!’ At this, Jim _mostly_ released his grip on Bones, the tips of his fingers lingering in the folds of the fabric, barely perceptible to Leonard but electrifying enough all the same, and Leonard can feel his resolve wavering, fading when - ‘Please?’. The sincerity of the plea, present in both Jim’s hopeful eyes and tentative smile, is what finally breaks Leonard.

‘Okay, fine kid, you win,’ Bones says with a show of gruff reluctance, swallowing a smile when Jim beams in response.

 

*

 

It’s 22:59. Leonard had agreed to go out with Jim with the intention of slipping away after a couple of hours, and now he felt he had his chance: Jim was laughing and dancing along with a group of people Leonard vaguely recognised, having left Leonard at the bar when we refused to follow him into the thronging crowds in the centre of the club.

At the announcement that there was only one hour left til the turning of the year, a spike of anxiety gripped Leonard’s throat, and he quietly makes his way towards the side door that leads to the roof - off limits, usually, but Leonard figures no one would notice - or care - tonight, thought that no one would notice him at all.

 

*

 

It’s just fifteen minutes later when Jim drops down besides Leonard, their legs dangling over the roof’s ledge. For a moment, Jim says nothing, instead allowing the silence to comfortably settle over them, eyeing the curve of Leonard’s neck, whose gaze is skyward. Normally, Leonard feels no inclination to seek out the stars - cannot find solace in them the way Jim does, preferring instead to draw strength from the ground - but tonight, he desperately wishes he could make out just one star amidst the hazy city smog and endless lights.

‘Bones?’ Jim gently leans against Leonard’s side, their arms touching and thighs brushing. ‘Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?’

At this, Leonard turns to look at Jim, a man who’d burst into his world mere months ago, but had already irrevocably carved a space into Leonard’s life. ‘I just don’t feel much like celebrating, Jim. New Years…it just means another year further into my mess of a life. Another year away from Joanna, another year without my pa…’

Jim shifts so he’s fully facing Leonard, and Leonard turns in tandem. ‘ _I get it_ Bones. Believe me, _I get it more than anyone_. But, a new year means that life goes on, you know? And I know that’s a cruel reminder, but it’s also a comfort.’ Jim drops his gaze, licking his lips nervously. ‘I used to hate it too, because I never had anything to look forward to. But I do now.’ Then, Jim takes a deep breath, gathering himself, before looking back at Leonard. ‘Maybe you just need a reason to celebrate.’

At this, Jim hesitates for just a second longer, before pressing his lips to Leonard’s; a brief but chaste touch, one full of larger promises, later passions, deeper longings.

Leonard smiles, small but achingly true. He’d found a star after all.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s 00:04 here so happy new years!


End file.
